Better living through pharmaceuticals...

Just got back from a drug run. Had to give them my birth date and swear I wasn't cooking up meth in my kitchen or anything, but I got the drugs. Yes friends, I know it's the holiday season because my nose is as red as Rudolph's: I have the creeping crud.

That may not be the most polite was to phrase what's going on with my sinuses right now, but creeping crud is how it feels. The sore throat started last week, but with judicious and liberal applications of preventive pharmaceuticals I was able to keep it at bay until this morning. My weekend company left this morning, and it's like all those little microbes and cells that live in my sinus cavity said Party Time all at once and set to making themselves busy. I feel like Elvis Presley in love...."My hands are shakin' and my knees are weak, I can't seem to stand on my own two feet; I'm alll shook up!" It starts with the throat, but slowly it moves through your entire sinus cavity, making you stuffy and sneezy and drizzly and achy and just generally yukky all over. My eyes are so tired I can't keep them open, but when I try to go to sleep my sinuses clog and I wake myself up either from snoring like a freight train or a complete inability to breathe.

Hence the drug run. I need drugs to stay awake during the day, so I can continue to torment my little students this week with final exams, which I actually have to grade this week as well. Grading under the influence has got to be prohibited somehwere, don't you think? Anyway, also have drugs to help me sleep at night. Last night's drugs were not effective; woke up every two hours with either an inability to breathe or being wracked by coughing spasms really worthy of someone saying, "Aw, poor baby," and fixing me something warm to drink and telling me to not worry about work tomorrow; just stay in bed and take care of yourself. Yea, like that's really going to happen!

Anyway, I'm getting ready to take another dose of the uppers to get me through the rest of the day, then the downers will come tonight as I hope for more restful sleep. But then again, I'm still sleeping on the mattresses on the floor from the unfortunate bed rail incident of a few nights ago. But hey, at least I don't have as far to fall if I roll off the bed from a coughing spasm in the middle of the night. Always the eternal optimist...

So, gentle friends, if you don't hear from me again you'll know that I fell victim to the rampact microbes that are now attacking my system. However, I expect to prevail in this war in time to participate in something they call Martinis and Mistletoe Thursday night. All I know is the event starts with free martinis, ends with free wine, and you get a free massage and shopping along the way, so I'm in!

If the drugs don't kill the creeping crud before then, I'm counting on the alcohol to get job done...