Over the last several years, I've worked on a collection of life lessons. I call them "Lessons Learned from an Ordinary Life." Added another lession to the collection today. Yes, it was one of those days.
Life Lesson Number 27: The length of the grocery line that I am standing in is inversely proportional to how frustrated, tired, worried and/or in a hurry I am. Never stand behind me.
In the "15 Items or Less" line today, the gentleman in front of the woman in front of me apparently had two carts full of food. He paid for them separately, like that makes a difference. What is he, a split personality and both get to have more than the 15-item limit because they're traveling as one? And while I appreciate that he was paying in cash, I had no idea the average man had that many places from which he could pull folded money. He wasn't wearing a bra -- at least I don't think he was -- but somehow he pulled some from the inside of his shirt. Do BVDs have pockets?
Then the lady behind him and immediately in front of me couldn't find her grocery card until the last minute, even though she looked for it the entire time Mr. Two Cart was going through his whole checkout routine. Then she finally found her card, but wanted to write a check. But she couldn't find her drivers' license, so there was another search. Then after the gentleman with the serious speech impediment who was running the register (yes, I kid you not) had finished checking and totaling her items, they both finally noticed the five-gallon hydrangea in her buggy that he had not scanned! Oh, and she also needed to get two bags of soil and would need to get someone to help her with that. The hunt was then on for the Potting Soil Bar Code, a rare and elusive creature which apparently no one who worked at the grocery store had ever heard of! In the end, she decided she didn't want the hydrangea after all, or should I say after she had put all her groceries on TOP of it -- a flagrant case of plant abuse! -- and found that when it was finally removed for scanning it had become sadly mangled. But she did want the soil, so he made up a price and a bar code, after which she spent five minutes thanking him.
I had nine items to check, and was out of there in less than one minute flat. The poor man behind me had two pizzas. There were at least five more behind him, because once I got in the line they CLOSED all the other registers!!!!
Did I mention the inversely proportional part? Yes, it was a frustrating day all round. Alarm went off, but somehow that also triggered a disengagement of my brain that today was a work day. So, little bit of a mad dash out of the house when the fog cleared. Student issues right off the bat -- nothing alarming, just the ubiquitous "issues" that always arise -- and less time reviewing than I would have liked. Then after class, all my typing skills seemed to elude me when I tried to enter some data in a form. Finally I give up trying to remember why the QWERTY keyboard is called that and move on to trying to leave the office, which we all know takes twice as long in minutes as the number of people in the room when you're trying to leave. By the time I headed to the grocery store, it was after 3:30 and I'd had no lunch, a bad day, and just wanted to get home, eat something chocolate, and read something totally without any redeeming social, moral, or ethical value. By the time I got ready to check out at the store, I didn't even have the energy to be righteously indignant. I just focused on the tiny container of Hagen Daz Peanut Butter and Chocolate ice cream in my cart (that was softly calling my name in a very loving tone) and reminded myself that this would all be over soon.
Another day, another lesson learned. And another tiny ice cream container bites the dust.
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